So for a long time now I have wanted to post something on the blog that speaks of this phenomenon called ‘adulting’. I speak of it vaguely and with disdain because neither do I fully well know what it is and neither do I want to. Although this blog is supposed to be cool and fun, operative word being ‘supposed’ – it’s still got to be real. So today, I choose to rant a little about adulting. Maybe you’ll agree, maybe you’ll unfollow – those are some pretty balanced odds there. But here’s sharing what I know and understand about being an adult.
Hmmm, let me start by looking shifty and being awkwardly silent – because part of being an adult is not saying everything on your mind. It’s also dealing with acidity, a lot of acidity. It’s knowing what your weapon of choice is in advance. Pudin Hara, Digene, Omez – it’s about having these in your arsenal like it’s no big deal. It’s about feeling like death after a night of drinking, because adults can’t afford hangovers, so it’s about suffering silently! It’s about having a complicated and tumultuous – almost emotionally scarring – relationship with your maid. It’s about letting her take advantage of you. It’s about paying someone for giving you pleasure. Yeah, it’s dirty business but it sure leaves your house clean. It’s about checking the ‘Online’ status of someone on Whatsapp and feeling like a Goddamn fool for doing that because apparently people your age aren’t supposed to do that. Well, everyone seems to do it- but please don’t talk about it. It’s so unbecoming of an adult.
It’s about wanting to swear your way out of 99% situations, but smiling vacantly instead. Yeah, it’s about being dead inside – but looking more alive than you ever have. It’s about dancing at sangeet practices and cussing your way through the ordeal, but actually enjoying yourself way more than you have in a long, long time. It’s about thinking money all the time – how you don’t have it, how you might never have it, how you just made a little of it, or a lot of it, how the useless colleague makes so much more of it, etc. It’s about suddenly realizing that your friends have been your family all along and it’s so weird that you’re just now realizing it. It’s about feeling like you might have been a Sufi saint in another lifetime, because some music and cool air turn you into a poet you never knew you were. It’s about wanting to run away, really far and really often. It’s about making lots of cups of coffee or chai knowing fully well that caffeine is slowly but surely killing you. Speaking of death, it’s about thinking a lot about life and how unpredictable it is. It’s about feeling emotion at the passing of someone you knew – in a quantity your heart had never anticipated. It’s about thinking about what you’ll leave behind in this world if your time is up…and then just watching another episode of Netflix anyway.
It’s about pretending, a lot of pretending. Basically, it’s like taking dramatics in school but playing more parts than you would have wanted. Yup, in this case too – the narrator is a douche-bag who states the obvious and leaves too little to the imagination. It’s about changing your mind really often, but being afraid to admit that – even to yourself. It’s about waking up one fine day and not really being in love with things you thought you were in love with. It’s about detesting an ice cream flavour you loved all your life, or a person, you know. It’s about thinking back a lot. It’s about letting the demons in your head dance, and we’re not talking about a little jig, we’re talking about a full blown Broadway production here.
It’s about eating, drinking, and traveling away your woes. It’s about suddenly being superstitious or agnostic – whichever one you weren’t before. It’s about hating the finality of everything. It’s about coming to terms with this ‘no-do-over policy’ that life has which no one really prepared us for. It’s about realizing that we are all in this together, and yet feel totally alone anyway. It’s about being really confident about what everyone else should do to lead a better life, but never really knowing for yourself.
It’s about saying a lot of things on (and off) social media and sometimes meaning none of them at all. It’s about not taking offence to this statement because the accuracy makes you smile. It’s about smiling, A lot of smiling. 🙂
And ultimately, it’s about being resilient. Because even though it’s no walk in the park, you’re more of a swim in the ocean kind of person anyway.