For quite a while now, I’ve been debating whether I want to write about weddings or more specifically – my wedding. From time to time, I really do enjoy giving you glimpses into my life; for instance, the time I told you about my love story and then the other time I commemorated my anniversary by reliving my big day.
I have friends getting married soon enough and I find myself having deep, meaningful, and hilarious conversations with them often about their own bride-to-be phases! So I finally decided to formally dole out wedding advice on the things that matter. That way, you could benefit too if you’re in the same phase. Also, I’ll just be a bitchy bridesmaid and ask them to log onto www.realgirl.co every time they have something they need to discuss. (Don’t worry, I won’t do that!)
But here it is; Real Girl advice to all you brides (to be) from a girl who’s been there, done that,and telling you certain things because she knows better or so she’d like to think. 🙂
Let’s begin. Brace yourself for some real talk!
- You are not a princess; you are a Khaleesi. This damsel in distress thing is not going to cut it. Please be in charge. I promise it’ll be so worth it when you look back and realize your wedding was exactly how you wanted it to be!
- No one can “make” you do anything! Indian families tend to have an all access pass to our guilt glands. Make sure you don’t fall for it.
- Don’t fight with the fiancé. Take it from me; it’s not going to be worth it! You’ll look back and realize it was only the pressure getting to you. Just go blow off some steam with him instead. *cough cough* *wink wink* (Did you know subtlety is my strong suit?)
- Don’t be ashamed of trying to budget things; weddings are an expensive affair. Unless you have KJo as your fairy godmother, in which case – can I please meet your fairy godmother? Anyhoo, please do your research before booking all your vendors. Ask around. Take feedback. Take trials. Think about it. But don’t be ashamed of saving money. I wish someone had told me that!
- Search the market for the thickest skin available – ‘cause girl, you’re going to need it! No seriously, people are going to get on your every last nerve and while they are there they are going to pull a Sukhbir and dance to ‘Ishq Tera Tadpave’. So just be prepared. Aunties and uncles will have opinions. Friends will have mood swings. Parents will have chaotic discussions. Shit is about to get real. So even before you buy your wedding outfit, do think about that thick skin.
- Please have fun. No one is going to come and inform you when it’s time to start having fun. So just enjoy the whole process. Enjoy the planning and enjoy the chaos. And when it’s finally D Day (this is India, it’s always D – week) just know that your aim should be the happiest person in the room! The one having the most fun.
7. You have my full support and permission if you are obsessing over photographers. There are a lot of things that are not worth your time, this incidentally is *not* one of them. It’s the only thing that stays with you way past your actual wedding. It’s going to be handed over for generations and that alone should put things in perspective.
- Let the family have their share of traditions. Now now, before you dismiss me completely – just hear me out. I know what it’s like to be a new age bride. We have very little time or patience to go down the road of pleasing people. Having said that, you can do this much for your parents. If they are being co-operative on most fronts, let them have the things that matter to them naa. Do that extra little puja that they want you to do. It won’t kill you. It’ll just leave them feeling happy and fulfilled. Isn’t that something you want?
- Don’t leave too many things for the last minute. I am the last person to advocate working in advance, but this isn’t a college project – it’s a wedding. If you leave too much for the last minute, there will be chaos. Also because logically, there are too many people involved. Know what I’m saying? Too many stakeholders here. If it were just about you (or me), I know we’d be able to pull it off!
- And lastly, you are allowed to feel all the feelings you are feeling! I get really emphatic about this one! (If only you could see me right now; I’m typing rather furiously.) For some of us, the wedding has been a long time coming whereas for some of us it’s all happening far too quickly. Either way, it really doesn’t matter. You are allowed to feel anxious, nervous, irritable, tired, angry, delirious, romantic, silly, filmy – all at once! Even if you seem like a maniac (to others or yourself), just know that it comes with the territory! One day you’ll wake up feeling sappy and one day you’ll wake up feeling far removed from the chaos. On both days, you are still you. And no matter what, you’re going to make a rocking bride. I just know it – I really do. 🙂
That’s all for today darlings, if this helped you at all – please comment down below. I’d love to write more on the subject – it’s very close to my heart. 🙂
Till then, happy wedding season everyone!
Image Courtesy: My wonderful photographer Amogh Pant (www.amogh.in)